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I went to his bedside and just pulled him to me hard against my chest and held him whilst he continued yelling at me to go. I didn’t and he slowly calmed down sobbing now at what must have been for him a betrayal of him and maybe even his father. Gradually his sobbing stopped as I relaxed slightly my hold on him. I lay next to Ian on his bed, cradling his head on my shoulder. I actually wanted to tell him all about Teresa but knew that Tom was the bogy in the way that had to be dealt with. I decided to be bold – the only way. “Ian how come you were wanking when I came in?” He didn’t immediately respond so I repeated myself. “What I saw Mum, him in your mouth like that.”“Then why were you so upset when I came in?”“I wanted it Mum. I was jealous that's all.”“Oh Ian my dear love. If you’d seen Tom earlier you wouldn’t have been jealous. He was just behaving like a prat who had too much to drink and let himself get selfish and thought he could take advantage of your father’s absence. I. ..” she sighed and, after another decent pause, she continued. “I've... been in Love with you... for a while, now... a long while.”Stunned, I just looked at her as she continued to explain.“I was eleven... we were at the lake... I went to the back to change and I saw... I saw you. You were changing... and you had your back to the door, and... I quietly left and changed in the car.” She paused again. “Later that day I moved the mirror, over by the door, hoping that I'd be able to... see you... again.”I started to speak again “I l...” she, again, stopped me.“I'm sorry if I made things difficult for you... I just wanted to feel you hold me so badly...” and, with teary eyes, whispered “I'm so sorry.”There was another long pause before I broke the silence. I looked into her eyes and said “I Love you, too... ever since I was thirteen and I saw you in that mirror.” Wiping a tear from her cheek I pulled her into another kiss. It was slow, and tender, and when it eventually ended I looked deep.
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